6 Ways To Tame The Comparing Mind
If you could learn how to stop comparing yourself to others, how great would your life be? If you think about it, the list of things to compare is never ending; job, social status, finances, looks, family.
All are fair game and there is always going to be somebody who, on the surface, seems to have more than you in one or all of these areas.
Comparing keeps you focused on what you don’t like about yourself and your life; and from an energetic perspective that only attracts more of what you don't want.
It's the nature of the mind to compare, so there's always going to be some of that going on. However, you can become aware of when you’re doing it and stop following the stories your mind is telling you. Training your mind to wake up from the trance of unworthiness is the only way to work with this unwanted guest. Here are six simple ways to stop comparing yourself to others:
ONE: Accept Where You Are
Almost all of us have some idea of where we ‘should’ be at any point in our lives. Sometimes things pan out; other times they don’t.
One thing’s for sure, though; you cannot get to where you want to go by hating where you are right now. On the other hand if you accept yourself and your situation as it is, this frees up internal resources in your subconscious mind, many of which had been tied up in fighting or opposing the way things are.
Once these resources are freed up they can be used to make powerful changes in your life. Accept every part of your life as it is right now. From that point you’re in a much better position to make decisions that will move you in the right direction.
TWO: Make Peace With Your Past
Hindsight is a wonderful thing; but nobody has a crystal ball. If you have done things in your past that you regret, it’s time to make peace with that and move on.
What you did then was the best you could do at the time, based on the information you had at the time You know better now because you see today through yesterday’s eyes.
By all means, learn from your past mistakes; just don’t hang them around your neck and carry them with you for the rest of your life.
THREE Detox From Social Media
Social media is a blessing and a curse. Let’s face it, who’s going to post a crappy photo of themselves or complain about their boring lives? Most people will show you what they want you to see; a glossed up version of their life that is simply not a true reflection of reality.
We all know this logically; yet when we’re bombarded with images of others seemingly perfect lives, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy, anxiety or depression. Don’t let social media control you. Limit the time you spend on these sites and be mindful of when you are getting sucked down the rabbit hole of a false reality.
FOUR: Practise Appreciation
If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. Your subconscious mind brings into your life whatever you focus on; so if you locus on lack, then all you will see is lack.
Make a conscious effort to pay attention to the good things in your life. Everybody has at last one or two things to be happy or glad about. Even if you’re feeling at your lowest, if you really make an effort you will find at least one thing to be thankful for.
Write down three things each day that you are appreciative of. You’ll be surprised to find there will be a lot of things you have disregarded or just taken for granted; such as hot water, electricity or food on the table each night. As you focus on what you like and appreciate, you will attract even more of what you want.
FIVE: Stop Trying To Be Perfect
I once had a client who said: ‘There’s one rule for me and another rule for the rest of the world. I expect myself to be perfect in every way, yet I do not expect this from other people.’
He knew this kind of thinking was irrational, yet there it was; the product of four decades of deeply conditioned subconscious beliefs.
Perfectionism causes anxiety and depression. On one hand, we know there is no such thing as perfection. On the other hand, many of us buy into the story in our heads that tells us we must be perfect.
This is a story your mind is telling you and, while it feels very real, it is actually not true. You can wake up from the trance of fear that keeps you striving for the unattainable by working with your mind and removing the beliefs that set perfectionism in motion.
SIX: Get In Your Own Corner
The inner critic in your mind will always try to convince you that you are not good enough. He’s never going to go away no matter how many affirmations you chant; but he’s not real. So you need to know how to stop comparing yourself to others or you will just be fuelling the wrong fires.
Just like any other thought that pops into your head, the thoughts generated by your inner critic are not true; they are the beginnings of a story that you can either buy into and get lost in or ignore.
If you do choose to believe the story you will inevitably suffer. On the other hand, what if you could recognise the story without identifying with it?
If somebody was being mean to your best friend, you would stick up for them; so why not be your own friend and stick up for yourself? Look out for yourself by refusing to believe the stories. Relieve, soothe, and comfort yourself. Do whatever it takes to feel better and never ever forget that you are the best friend you will ever have. If you'd like more help, contact me here.