More and more people are calling me and enquiring about hypnosis for a relationship break up. It seems the word is spreading about how effective this modality is for helping you stop obsessing over your ex and move on.
Breakups can be painful at the best of times; and it doesn’t seem to matter whether you’re dealing with a walkout by your ex-partner or the decision to split was mutual. People just find it really hard to let go.
Social media can make it almost impossible to ignore what is going on in your ex-partner’s life (aside from de-friending the ex and everyone associated with them).
It’s not just the end of your marriage or partnership that’s hard. It’s the fear that you may have made the wrong decision, or that it is somehow ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ that the relationship with your spouse has come to an end. Many of my clients are racked with turmoil, wondering if they would have been better off leaving things as they were. The old saying ‘better the devil you know’ rings true here.
What If My Ex Finds Someone New Before I Do?
Depending on your circumstances, your partner may have already moved onto another relationship and that can be a bitter pill to swallow. One of two things will be happening for you: either you’re still in love with your ex or you’re not. Either way it’s really difficult seeing them move on, especially if it was done quickly.
As a hypnotherapist my job is to help you accept the situation as it is and work on your own self-esteem so your happiness does not rely on what your ex may or may not be doing. My advice is to cease all contact with your ex (unless you have kids together) because it can be just too painful to see them going about their life without you.
If a mutual friend brings up your ex in conversation, change the subject or ask them not to tell you what is happening. Take care of yourself and focus on healing your own heart and eventually you will not care what your ex is up to at all.
What If The New Partner Gets The New Improved Version of My Ex?
Many of my clients lament that their ex is suddenly behaving like a model spouse with the new person in their life. My client Gillian said: ‘It’s so unfair. I was with him for 28 years and all of a sudden he’s now behaving exactly the way I wanted him to for this new woman! I’ve lost my marriage and she benefits from all the mistakes he made in our marriage.’
Take comfort in the fact that while your ex may genuinely have changed, it’s more likely that he is just putting his best foot forward with the new person in his life. Either way, it’s important to know that no matter how hard you try things sometimes just don’t’ work out. This doesn’t mean that you have failed; just that you haven’t found the right person yet. Every relationship is practise for the right relationship.
What If This Is As Good As It Gets?
The impact on your self-worth after splitting with a long-term, live-in partner is huge and if kids are involved it is worse because you still have to see your ex-partner and deal with the fallout on a regular basis. Separating from the father of your children can leave you feeling drained, depressed and hopeless and you could be forgiven for worrying that you may never heal after the relationship ends.
The truth is that most people would rather make a bad decision than face the unknown. Many of my clients say ‘what if I never find someone else?’ These kinds of thoughts are normal but it doesn’t mean they are true.
A good hypnotherapist can help you work through all these difficult emotions and come out the other end a better, healthier and happier person. You can then take the learning from this experience into the next relationship. Whether your marriage is over, you have broken off your engagement or your husband has left you, hypnosis is an excellent tool for a relationship break up.