Most people would rather stay quiet than face the prospect of conflict, and this results in a myriad of emotional problems later on in life.
When we’re young, we’re often taught that emotions like anger or sadness are somehow wrong, so we learn to repress them rather than being assertive when we need to.
If you’re not getting your needs met in relationships, it may be time to re-assess the way you communicate. Do you call yourself a ‘people pleaser’, or tend to keep the peace rather than speaking out when something is bothering you?
This may seem like the easiest way around conflict, but unrealised negative emotions have a tendency to come back and haunt you in the form of anxiety, rage, addictions and sometimes even serious illness.
Being Assertive is Essential To a Happy Life.
I once had a client who was known to those around him as ‘the nice guy’. He was very attached to being seen as a nice person, and mistakenly believed that being assertive was somehow synonymous with ‘being mean’.
This viewpoint came from old childhood beliefs that he needed to challenge. Through this deeper exploration, he realised that not only was it okay to set boundaries, it was essential to his emotional health.
If for whatever reason, you’ve come to believe setting boundaries somehow makes you a ‘bad’ person, it’s time to re-think those old outdated subconscious stories.
This video will help you:
- See yourself as a valid, unique and worthwhile person;
- Release old unwanted beliefs that keep you stuck in people pleasing mode;
- Communicate effectively with friends, loved ones and work colleagues;
- Set boundaries without feeling guilty
It may feel strange at first when you start to become more assertive, and even though it may temporarily upset those around you who are used to getting their own way all the time, ultimately the change is best for all those concerned.
Don’t try to make the changes all at once; take baby steps and slowly build your assertiveness muscles.
Listen to this video in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. It’s best to use earphones if you can.
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