Whenever my clients ask me how to gain confidence, my top piece of advice is; do a media cull.
Did you know that Photoshop is an industry standard across all media?
This means if you spend too much time on Facebook, Instagram or reading fashion mags, you’ll start to feel like crap.
Media and big businesses do this on purpose, so you’ll feel terrible about yourself and buy their product to ‘fix’ your so-called flaws.
And buying more stuff will not give you that deep sense of worthiness you’re looking for. It’ll just send you broke.
Doing a media cull is one action you can take right now that will make a huge difference to your self-esteem. Once you’ve got that sorted, I have some more tips that will help you build REAL confidence, so read on:
ONE: Watch Your Language
Some of my cients say ‘Sonia, I know my parents loved me; but their idea of helping was to point out my flaws’. This is why I have low self-esteem.’
That may be true; but it’s also irrelevant, because the past is gone.You have no control of what happened to you back then.
But you DO have some control over what happens right now and in particular, how you speak to yourself.
Do you put yourself down? If so stop it right now. All you’re doing is creating and perpetuating negative subconscious beliefs that ultimately become your reality.
What that means in plain English is you are what you say to yourself. Why make things harder than they already are? Choose the path of least resistance and resolve to be a bit nicer to yourself.
TWO: Challenge Your Beliefs
A belief is basically a thought that you keep on thinking. The more you think a thought, the more it becomes active and the more influence it has on your feelings and behaviour.
That’s why even people who seem to have it all suffer from low self-esteem. Being wealthy, successful or good-looking doesn’t make you immune to negative beliefs.
You can change the beliefs that aren’t working for you with the help of a qualified hypnotherapist. Make sure you find one you can trust and who has lots of experience with confidence and self-esteem issues.
You can also develop a daily affirmation practice that will help you slowly replace the negative statements you make about yourself with positive statements. Here’s a video I made to help you do this.
THREE: Be Yourself
Here’s an interesting fact. I genuinely like 98% of my clients and I think the reason for this is that it’s impossible to get anywhere when you come to see me unless you show me your true self.
I think we tend to have a sixth sense that tells us if a person is genuinely being themselves. If they’re not, we can see that they are uncomfortable in their own skin and therefore we feel uncomfortable around that person too.
You want to be like that person? Well…guess what. He probably wants to be like someone else. Seriously, even the most self-aware people get stuck in the trap of trying to be someone they’re not.
You’re always going to have an idea of the best ‘you’ that you can be. That’s fine; just don’t lose yourself completely along the way. If you would like to know more about how to gain confidence you can get in touch with me any time.