Why Needing To Be Right Ruins Relationships
These days, it isn’t uncommon to see conflict occurring in real life, getting broadcast on the news, and viral content where someone is arguing with someone else about who is right. When watching as an outsider, the entire situation could look overblown and childish, and maybe even a little bit funny.
If you’re like most people, you don’t like to be wrong. And when you don’t like to be incorrect, there is the chance that you don’t want to have your opinion challenged. When this happens, it could result in interpersonal conflicts that are hard to overcome.
Upbringing Teaches Us Being Right Is Always Best
It isn’t surprising that people have a strong internal desire to be right. As children, we’re taught right from wrong.
When we do something right, rewards for things such as high grades reinforce the positive feedback for your knowledge or behaviour.
When we do something wrong, there is generally some penalty or embarrassment that comes with doing things wrong or getting bad grades.
When we’re right, it affirms our ego and sense of self-worth. When we’re wrong, it embarrasses and casts self-doubt.
However, as students of life, it’s okay to admit that we’re sometimes wrong. It could even save our relationships from permanent damages.
Don’t Let Your Ego Wreck Relationships
While there is nothing wrong with a strong sense of self and a healthy ego, it’s important not to let our ego get the best of us.
In relationships, having a big ego can cause rifts with the people we care about the most.
Over time, having an inflated ego can cause feelings such as anger, jealousy, resentment, and fear to form. These feelings can then lend themselves to negative actions or behaviors which cause deeper wounds in relationships.
If the ego is an issue for you or a loved one, here are some tips to help let go and enjoy life and relationships more fully.
- Exercise Gratitude – Sometimes, it is too easy to focus on the negative aspects of our life while overlooking all the good things. When we forget to be grateful for the good, it leaves a lot of room to dwell on the “not so perfect” aspects of our life. Give thanks instead. If you are striving to achieve a goal, develop a step-by-step plan to complete it.
- Be Honest With Yourself And Others – If you are in the wrong, don’t be too proud to admit your mistake. The chances are good if it isn’t something that will matter ten years from now, you can move on from it quickly.
- Be Forgiving Of Yourself And Others – No one is perfect 100% of the time. We’re all humans on our path through this lifetime. Forgiveness is the best form of therapy, and if you can’t do it for the person who slighted you, do it for yourself. Doing so, you get peace of mind knowing that all is well in your world.
- Give Up Your Need To Control Situations – There’s a time to be a leader, and there are also times when surrendering control of a situation is freeing. If you are lashing out at others because you feel like you’ve lost control of circumstances, this is a time to step back from yourself and leave things to a power greater than yourself. A lot of times, when you admit your limitations, it opens the door for new ideas, solutions, and opportunities to present themselves.
Be Mindful of Programming
In a time of polarized media, it is essential to mindful of the programming we watch to avoid forming hardened opinions on topics that we have minimal impact on changing.
For instance, politics. While it’s great to watch the political theater putting on the most obnoxious acts in recent history, getting embroiled about one side or another doesn’t bring about any inner peace.
If your personality is affected by the news of the day, or you find yourself arguing with others about topics you see on TV or the internet, it might be time to give yourself a time out or a media detox. By doing so, you can give your mind and your nervous system a break from the barrage of bad news that is so common today.
After a few days, you’ll likely find yourself calmer and less argumentative about topics that only matter for a day or two. The news will soon overwrite that topic with the next, newest scandal or misdoing meant to cause anger, fear, tension, and conflict with the people who are watching or listening.
When you release some of the thoughts that occupy your mind space daily, it frees your mind to explore other interests so that you can grow personally. Why bother fighting with someone about the latest news piece broadcast on your TV or internet device.
By taking control of your mind and your thoughts, it’s a lot easier to take ownership of the words that you say to others.
Listen To Others And Put A Ten Second Filter On Your Response
Another way you can avoid talking yourself into trouble is by communicating effectively. Instead of waiting your turn to talk, listen to the person, and formulate your response.
If you are in a heated discussion, give yourself a ten-second filter before blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. It’s much easier not to say hurtful or rude things than trying to take back the words you said later.
Blow Off Some Steam
If you’re in search of a holistic way to blow off steam and stabilize your mood is exercising. Exercise helps to release “feel good” endorphins that elevate your mood and promote better overall health.
When you are feeling good about yourself naturally, the less likely you are to want to fight, argue or bicker with your partner, family members, or friends. Instead of going toe-to-toe about unimportant subjects, you can let go of the need to disagree with the essential people in your life.
You might consider asking your partner to join you in your health and fitness activities. Forming healthy habits together can help to build a stronger relationship, so you don’t have to spend time and energy disagreeing about who is wrong or right.
According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, two in three Australians were considered obese in 2017-2018, and one in four children aged 2-17 got classified as overweight or obese. As you can imagine, any healthy habits that you can form with friends or family help move both of you to a healthier place mentally and physically.
Types of exercise you might consider adding to your daily routine include:
- Walking – Walking is one of the most natural ways to exercise, and you don’t even need to make a substantial investment or buy an expensive gym membership. All you need is comfortable walking shoes and appropriate clothing to get started. You can walk around your block, on a local walking path or track, or along the beach. You get a cardiovascular workout doing the most natural movement of the human anatomy.
- Swimming – Swimming is a refreshing exercise that you can enjoy all year long. Swimming offers a full-body workout that is ideal for anyone with mobility issues or joint issues. Since water is weightless, it is ideal for doing exercise without putting pressure on your ankles, knees, and hips. On hot days, it’s the perfect way to cool off!
- Dancing – If you want to leave your troubles behind, dancing is a great way to do it. You don’t need fancy lessons – just put on your headphones and let your body take over! When you’re busy having fun, there is no time or reason to think about who is wrong or right in an insignificant exchange, especially if you just let it go. If you think you’d rather take disciplined lessons, you always have the option to take classes if you want.
Use Hypnosis To Improve Communications And Relationships
Another option for improving communications and relationships is using hypnosis Melbourne.
This form of therapy helps people to tackle a variety of personal issues ranging from anger control, developing relationships, improving communication skills, working through bouts of anxiety or depression, and a host of other concerns.
Through clinical hypnosis, clients learn how to better deal with their feelings of anger and how to express their perceptions to others respectfully. By approaching the situation in a more rational way, resolving issues becomes natural. Temper tantrums were cute when you’re five, but not so much so twenty or more years later.
Anger management sessions help people recognize triggers that irritate or anger them, and how to deal with the situation in an appropriate manner. Other skills include teaching how to ask for things you need, expressing opinions respectfully, and stepping back from anger. By viewing it as an observer, your feelings don’t get enslaved by them.