How To Get Over Being Bullied At Work
It may seem impossible to even fathom how to get over being treated unfairly at work, because it affects every area of your life. Whether you have been the victim of peer bullying or you have been treated badly by your boss, you can move past the negativity and come out the other end a much stronger and more resilient person.
Believe it or not this is something I treat a lot as a hypnotherapist. Many of my clients are in a position where, either they have had to leave their jobs because the bullying became so unpleasant, or they are fighting to keep their jobs due to unfair dismissal.
Dealing with this on your own can take its toll, so you may want to find a professional who can help you process what has happened to you.
This Isn’t Just About Work
When something like this happens to you it doesn’t stay at work. It permeates every area of your life and most significantly, your self-esteem. This may have taken you by surprise, and when that happens, everything you thought to be true about yourself and the way the world works comes into serious question.
If you’re being harassed, excluded or bullied eight to ten hours each day, you may feel as though you have no-one to turn to. This can quickly turn to anxiety, depression and hopelessness.
My client Janelle got a huge shock when, after serving the same company for 15 years, a new manager came in and took an instant dislike to her. Janelle had always had a good reputation at work and had always gotten along well with her peers and bosses.
So when her manager began actively doing things to make her uncomfortable, such as assigning an unfair percentage of night shifts to Janelle, she began to see the writing on the wall. Slowly and systematically, Janelle was treated so badly that she felt in the end she had no choice other than quit her job.
Legally, she had the right to stand her ground; but emotionally, it was so draining that it began to affect her health and her relationships; so she decided enough was enough.
Janelle and I worked together to rebuild her shattered self-esteem, and develop the courage to re-invent herself. So much of her life had been tied up in her work identity that when this was taken away from her, she felt truly lost.
However, I’m delighted to say that for Janelle, it was a blessing in disguise. She retrained and found a new career that was far more rewarding than the old one – and last I heard she was doing great. What happened to Janelle was definitely unfair; but sometimes the worst things that happen to us are also the best.
To Fight Or Not To Fight?
If you’re in a position where your job security is either overtly or underhandedly being jeopardized, you can certainly take legal action and fight for your position. Many of my clients have taken action and won their cases. Should you fight for your job? Only you can answer that question. Some people feel so upset by the situation that they are unable to separate from their emotions and continue to work with the person who treated them unfairly.
If it’s going to cost you emotionally to stay at your current workplace it may not be worth it. I know that may feel as though you are letting the bullies win, but at the end of the day you have to take care of your own health.
If you do choose to leave of your own accord, making a formal complaint in your exit interview could be a good way to get your point across and most importantly, make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to someone else down the track. Whatever you decide, you can get over the negative impact of being unfairly dismissed or bullied in the workplace with access to the right professional help. Feel free to contact me if you would like some help.