4 Mind States That Will Make You Happier
We all want to do things that cause happiness. Unfortunately most people spend their lives chasing after the things that society tells us will make us happy, only to be sorely disappointed.
Deep down inside we’re all searching for something that will take away the underlying feeling of anxiety that’s born from the knowledge that we really don’t have much control over anything.
If Only I Had ‘X’…THEN I Would Be Happy!
If you think the state of your love life, your job or your financial situation will make you happy then you’re wrong. They won’t because they are impermanent and subject to change. Your belief in material happiness is a delusional mind state and is often described as ‘If-only mind’.
The only way to be happy is to train your mind and cultivate mind states that bring a quality of peace and harmony to your life. You’ve probably heard the saying: ‘you take your mind with you wherever you go’, and this is true.
The Buddhist teachings describe 4 divine states or ‘Brama Viharas’ that are said to cause lasting happiness, and eventually, enlightenment.
I’m not pushing the Buddhist doctrine and I’m far from enlightened (!!!), but I love the teachings because they make so much sense. So lets’ take a closer look at these 4 mind states in this article today.
Patience is said to be the antidote to anger. How many times have you gone to far in the heat of the moment and said things that you regretted later? Patience helps us to step back from the situation and view it objectively.
You might have heard the saying ‘count to 10 before your respond in anger’. This is just another way of teaching yourself patience and tolerance.
Patence just just help you control your anger. In this society where instant gratification is everything it is truly a lost art. We are a society that wants everything yesterday, and if that doesn’t happen we automatically assume there’s something wrong.
My weight loss hypnotherapy clients have to learn the art of patience because I teach them to steer away from the quick fix diets that take the weight off quickly and put it back on even more quickly. Patience teaches you to slow down, contemplate your situation and be in the present moment.
Simply put, equanimity means being okay with the way things are. As human beings we are conditioned to cling to things we like (attachment) and push away things we don’t like (aversion).
Equanimity teaches you not to fight with the way things are, but to accept it (without complacency). As you stop fighting, as you accept your situation as it is, you open up space in your mind and let your subconscious work out a solution if one can be found.
So how do you practise equanimity when your world is falling apart around you? It’s not easy, but it can be done. When things don’t go the way I want them to and I’m on an internal rant, the best way I’ve found to ground myself is to say ‘no matter what I wish for, things are as they are.’
THREE: Loving Kindness
When you practise loving kindness it brings with it a sense of spaciousness. Rather than seeing yourself as separate, closed off and small you can begin to notice that you are actually part of something much bigger.
Of course, loving kindness starts with yourself because without loving yourself it is almost impossible to truly love others. For many people the hardest thing to do is to accept themselves.
So take baby steps. If you start putting yourself down or beating yourself up, the simple statement ‘May I be happy’ can help you break out of the destructive mind patterns that fuel self-hatred.
Compassion and empathy also help you to move away from the small separate self that grasps and clings to worldly concerns.
I didn’t really discover compassion until I became a hypnotherapist. Every day I meet with people who are suffering in some way, and my job is to provide them with the space they need to share their pain and hopefully, move toward healing.
It also makes me very grateful for my own life and everyone in it. Compassion shows us that we’re not alone – that everybody suffers and we are all united in the one wish – to be happy.
If you want to do things that cause happiness for you and for others, practise these four heart qualities and watch your heart and mind open up. To help you along the way you might like to try my happiness hypnosis MP3 download.
You can be happy by changing your mindset and training your mind. If you would like to learn how to do this give me a bell on my contact page. any time.