In part one of this post series on permanent weight loss, I explained why most people who can’t lose weight and keep it off have serious mindset issues getting in the way.
You learnt the difference between the cause and the symptoms of your weight problem, and why if you don’t address both, you’ll stay stuck in a cycle of yo-yo dieting.
Your thoughts and beliefs are key players in this game, and this post goes into more detail about why your beliefs create your reality and what you can do to change them.
Changing your beliefs starts with paying close attention to your thoughts and words. Most people don’t know how to use their minds in a way that is beneficial.
They continue to talk about and focus on what they don’t like and as a result they just get more of what they don’t want.
Telling it Like it Is
Every belief you’ve ever had started out as a thought. Just because you think a thought, doesn’t mean it’s real…at least not yet.
You can’t ‘unthink a thought’…but you can consciously detach from that thought by choosing to think about something else.
On the other hand, when you stay focused a thought, in as little and 20 seconds, more thoughts that match that thought will join it…until you have a veritable party of negative thoughts swimming around in your head.
Multiply this process by hours, days and years, and you end up with some pretty screwed up beliefs.
It’s also important to understand that each time you talk about something you don’t like, you reinforce the internal story about that situation, and therefore it becomes more.
Your Subconscious is Always Listening
Here’s an example:
My client Helen was stressed out and frustrated. 6 months prior to seeing me, she’d embarked on a horrendously strict diet of 800 calories a day, and had lost 20 kilos over 3 months.
Fast forward six months, and not only had she put all the weight back on plus some more, she was now saddled with a binge eating disorder.
The one thing that stood out to me, was that she needed to explain why she was overweight…to anyone who would listen.
Helen said: ‘I know when people look at me, they think: “She’s so fat!” So I just get in there first and insult myself before they get a chance to do it.’
‘I want them to know that I’m not lazy or stupid. I want them to know why I’m having such a hard time with this, so they won’t judge me.’
In her attempts to make other people ‘get’ her, what she didn’t realize was that her subconscious was hanging off every word.
Your subconscious doesn’t have the ability to decide what’s true, and it doesn’t have a sense of humour.
So, when you say: ‘Hey, check out how fat I am!’, whether you say it aloud or silently, and whether you’re joking or not, it responds with: ‘You want fat? Okay then…Here’s more…’
…and then, being overweight becomes your reality.
So… I urge you to choose your words and thoughts carefully.
I know that being overweight is frustrating, and sometimes you just want to let off steam about it.
Try to limit amount the time you spend doing this. Its easy to get caught up in talking about what’s not working in your life, but from an energetic perspective this isn’t good for you.
Now…back to the subject of unwanted beliefs. Here’s a little exercise that will help you gain better control over your thought processes.
How To Change Your Beliefs
You can change your beliefs by actively paying attention to your thoughts and words.
It’s pretty simple, really. You know when you’re focused on what you don’t want by the way you feel.
When you feel good, usually that means there’s a situation you’re experiencing that’s pleasing to you.
In other words, when things are good, it’s easy to feel good. As a result of feeling good, more positive thoughts and feelings show up and then…the better it gets the better it gets.
…Until something bad happens.
For example, you eat more than you should have. Or your partner dumps you. Or your boss tells you off in front of everybody.
That’s where things go pear shaped for most people. Now, the negative thoughts start to show up like:
- I’m so hopeless
- I’ll never be good enough
- Why can’t I do this?
- I may as well give up
Be The gatekeeper Of Your Thoughts
When bad things happen, most people let themselves get pushed around by a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions, thinking they have no control.
But you do have control. So here’s your chance to start tipping the scales in your favour.
From now on, whenever you notice a negative thought popping into your mind, I want you to touch your left wrist with your right hand and say the word:
You can say this aloud or silently, but the purpose of this word is to move you away from that thought and onto the next one.
You won’t always catch yourself, and that’s okay. But each time you do catch yourself, you break the cycle of negative thinking.
In doing this, you actively train your mind to look for and emphasise the positive aspects of your experience.
Why This Works
When you’re anxious, impatient or irritated about your weight problem, there’s a lot of negative momentum on that subject.
There’s no way you can feel confident and sure from that place. In other words, you can’t feel good right away…but you can feel better.
The process of pivoting helps you do this.
You have to edge your way towards feeling hopeful about your situation and this is best done in small increments. As one thought brings relief, another will join it.
This builds positive momentum on the subject and slowly but surely moves you in the right direction.
It’s All About Perception
When you have a picture in your mind of the way you want to look and feel, but you think you can’t be happy until you get there, that’s an incredible amount of pressure to put on yourself.
On the other hand, if you can say: ‘I’m going to find ways to feel good right now, regardless of the number on the scales’…. that’s when you have true power.
Suddenly, losing weight doesn’t become this ‘big hairy unachievable deal’ that’s way off in the future. You’re far more likely to achieve your weight loss goals by detaching from the outcome.
For now, let it be okay where you are. Be a bit nicer to yourself and acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can.
If you’re so worked up you can’t think straight, take a nap.
Start again tomorrow.
Each morning, affirm your intention be the gatekeeper of your thoughts and words throughout the coming day.
And…if you’d like to know how a hypnotherapist can help you achieve permanent weight loss, contact me here.