Welcome to the fourth part in this series on the key to permanent weight loss.
In the last post, I explained why we get caught up in needless worry, even though 80% of what we worry about doesn’t eventuate.
In this post, we’ll go deeper into three specific topics that most people worry about more than anything else, and why these have a significant impact on your appetite, weight and overall physical wellbeing.
So, let’s begin by talking about the first subject that causes a lot of anxiety for a lot of people.
WORRY #1: Money
Money is a really loaded subject for a lot of people. We all want more of it but we also think it’s hard to come by.
As with everything, our relationship with money comes down to our beliefs about it.
If you think about it for a moment, it’s not really money that you want; you want to feel better, and you believe having enough money will help you do that.
When you focus solely on money, you often repel it, because all your old subconscious programming gets in the way.
Remember whenever you’re feeling negative emotion, you’re focusing on the opposite of what you want. Mostly, your thoughts about money are really thoughts about the lack of it.
Money vs. Abundance
Now let’s talk about the two key differences between money and abundance. Money is a channel; whereas abundance is a mindset.
Here’s what abundance has over our old mate money:
- Abundance comes in many forms, not just money. It includes health, love, freedom, happiness and wellbeing.
- Abundance is a feeling rather than a physical object, so you don’t have to have money in order to feel abundant
You may think having squillions in your bank account would solve all your problems, but that isn’t necessarily true.
If you’re terrified of poverty, then coming into a lot of money will not soothe that anxiety; it will amplify it.
A person who has a fear of poverty will still play out that fear, regardless of how big their bank balance is.
So Financial abundance is only a small part of your greater happiness, and when you limit your potential for wellbeing to that one aspect, your world suddenly becomes very small.
What Financial Abundance REALLY Means
Here are some common feelings or qualities people think money will bring them:
- More choice;
These are actually mindset qualities that are available to right now: but when you believe you can only get these from one specific channel, you pinch yourself off from abundance.
If you could strive for feelings of abundance as opposed to physical wealth, then all kinds of opportunities will show up that will improve your life right here and now, regardless of your bank balance.
Choosing to be positive isn’t about pretending that everything is okay when it isn’t; it’s about recognising where you are and finding some way to feel better, even if it’s only a little better.
Okay, now let’s move onto the second subject which is relationships.
WORRY #2: Relationships
Many of my weight loss clients are dealing with toxic interpersonal relationships, bullying at work or power struggles with their kids.
Human beings need connection and positive interaction with other human beings in order to thrive, and when that goes south, our physical health often suffers.
Wouldn’t it be great if everybody saw the world the way you do?
Unfortunately, the fact that they don’t leaves us with the challenge of working out ways to deal with difficult people.
When you rely on other people changing or behaving a certain way in order for you to feel better, you give all your power away.
You CAN enjoy happy and harmonious relationships – but only by working on yourself first.
How Relationships Weigh You Down
Sometimes people have so many dramas in their home or work life that they can’t find the resources to take care of their health.
When all your energy is taken up in resentment, bickering and obsessing over the past, that leaves you feeling depleted, depressed and utterly powerless.
During these times, it can be helpful to differentiate between your stuff and the other person’s stuff. Over time, we collect emotional baggage that can affect our relationships in a negative way; for example, fearing that our partner will cheat on us despite him continuing to prove himself faithful.
In other words, sometimes the conflict we face with others is a result of our own feelings, beliefs and past hurts.
Also, people tend to reflect back in us, dramas that are going on in ourselves. For example, if you don’t feel good about yourself then you might notice that others around you ignore your or treat you with disrespect.
When this happens, it can be a solid indication that you need to work on your own beliefs in relation to self-esteem, self-worth or assertiveness.
WORRY #3: Other People’s Opinions
And now for the third most common worry which is worrying about what other people think.
Just as our ancestors needed a heightened awareness of perceived threats in order to survive, so too, did their survival depended on being a part of a clan.
Back then, exile meant death, so it’s no wonder our fear of rejection is so strong. It’s also why being wealthy, successful or good looking doesn’t make you immune to low self-esteem.
We’ve all got an internal part of us called ‘inner critic’. The inner critic is always on your back, pushing you to do better.
It’s the little voice in your head that says: you’ll never be good enough’. And the bad news is it’s here to stay.
The good news is it’s not the boss of you and you can choose not to pay attention to it.
The Inner Critic
Some of my clients say: ‘Sonia, I know my parents loved me; but their idea of helping was to point out my flaws. This is why I have low self-esteem.’
That may be true; but it’s also irrelevant, because the past is gone. You have no control of what happened to you back then.
But you DO have control over what happens right now and in particular, how you speak to yourself.
Negative self-talk perpetuates negative beliefs and your beliefs create your reality.
You’re always going to have an idea of the best ‘you’ that you can be. That’s fine; just don’t lose yourself completely along the way.
How Worrying Affects Your Weight
Worrying, stress, uncertainty and conflict have a direct effect on your ability to reach and maintain a healthy weight.
A significant portion of my weight loss clients have some degree of emotional eating going on.
They turn to high-fat, high-calorie foods in direct response to the experience of unpleasant emotions.
When you do this, you are literally ‘stuffing down’ your emotions by using food, which acts as a repression mechanism.
This approach never works because eventually the emotions will come back to haunt you again and again, until you learn to deal with them. And if you don’t address the cause of the emotional eating, the weight problem will never go away.
- The hormone cortisol triggers the body’s stress (fight or flight) response, including increased heart and breathing rate, blood flow to muscles, and visual acuity.
- Part of the stress response includes increased appetite to supply the body with the fuel it needs to fight or flee, resulting in cravings for comfort foods.
Recognising Your Triggers
The best way to stop comfort eating is to become familiar with the times when you are triggered. Once you have that information you can take steps to minimise the triggers as best you can.
For example, if the time between getting home from work and dinner is a trigger time for you, you could choose to do something to fill in that time such as going for a walk or to the gym.
The key is to break the cycle of behaviour by doing something different.
Aside from recognising and averting our triggers, we also need to find ways to minimise worry, stress and anxiety.
This is why any weight loss hypnosis program worth its salt must include a provision to help the client deal with stress and worry. If you’d like to achieve permanent weight loss, contact me here.
See you in the next post!